ITS CRAZY FOUNDER
L. Ron Hubbard, creator of Dianetics and Scientology, claimed to be an expert in just about everything: science, mysticism, art, adventure, and more. No discussion of Hubbard would be complete without a sampling of the gems of knowledge from this infamous cult leader.
(Fair Use image: "What is Scientology?", 1993)
The brain: “The brain is just a shock absorber.” 
Vision: “...A thetan [spirit] doesn't look through his eyeballs. He has two little gold discs, one in front of each eye lens. These are not the lenses of the eyes, but, as you might say, mocked-up energy.” 
Radiation: "Radiation is apparently enormously water-soluble as well as water removable. According to researchers, one merely has to take a hose to a building surface or a road to wash the radiation off of it.” 
on other religions and races
of Scientology's slick PR machine.
(Fair Use image: "Scientology:
A New Slant on Life", 1972)
Christianity again: “Christianity succeeded by making people into victims.” 
Islam: “It's an enormous stone hanging suspended in the middle of a room. This is an incident called the Emanator, by the way. And this thing is, by the way, the source of the Muhammadan Lodestone that they have hanging down there, that, uh, when, uh, Muhammad decided to be a good, uh, small-town booster, in uh, Kansas, Middle East... or something of the sort. By the way, the only reason he mocked that thing up is because trade wasn’t good in his home town. That’s right. You read the life of Muhammad.” 
Indian people: ”Now we say there's, well, another place in the world -- there's India. Wonderful place -- except for its people.” 
Chinese people: “Now, every once in a while, just for the hell of it, I put these things into practice in the material universe. They always work. They don’t work because I say they work. You can put these things into the hands of some Chinese and send him to Hong Kong, and we’ll have cleared chinks.” 
Black people: “Have you ever noticed how a Negro, in particular, down south where they’re pretty close to the soil, personifies MEST [the physical universe] ? The gate post, and the wagon, and the whip, and... anything around there. A hat. They talk to them, you know? [Mockingly] ‘What’s the matter with you, hat?’ They imbue them with personality.“  (Audio follows)
on his space travels
Floating in space: “I was up in the Van Allen belt -- this is, uh, factual -- and, uh, I don’t know why they’re scared of the Van Allen belt, because it’s simply hot. Uh, you’d be surprised how warm space is... And I was up there watching the sunrise.”  (Audio follows.)
on getting rich
(Credit: Public domain image.)
Instructions for staff members: “MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MORE MONEY.” 
Selling falsehoods: “Let's sell these people a piece of blue sky.” 
on his miracle "cures"
Arthritis cured: “Twenty-five hours of Scientology by an auditor who fairly understands how to process arthritis can be said to produce an invariable alleviation of the condition.” 
Leukemia treatments: “Leukemia is evidently psychosomatic in origin and at least eight cases of leukemia had been treated successfully by Dianetics after medicine had traditionally given up. The source of leukaemia has been reported to be an engram containing the phrase 'It turns my blood to water.’ ” 
on feeling bad
(Credit: Ron the Nut.org)
His request for psychiatric help: “This is a request for treatment... After trying and failing for two years to regain my equilibrium in civil life, I am utterly unable to approach anything like my own competence... I cannot account for nor rise above long periods of moroseness and suicidal inclinations... I feel I might be treated outside [hospitalization], possibly with success. I cannot, myself, afford such treatment. Would you please help me?” 
ON ATTACKING CRITICS OF DIANETICS AND SCIENTOLOGY
All critics are criminals: “Now, get this as a technical fact, not a hopeful idea. Every time we have investigated the background of a critic of Scientology, we have found crimes for which that person or group could be imprisoned under existing law. We do not find critics of Scientology who do not have criminal pasts.” 
“Suppressive People” (e.g. critics of Scientology): “ENEMY. SP Order. Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.” 
Techniques of attack: “Spot who is attacking us. Start investigating them promptly for felonies or worse using our own professionals, not outside agencies. Double curve our reply by saying we welcome an investigation of them. Start feeding lurid, blood sex crime actual evidence [sic] on the attackers to the press. Don't ever tamely submit to an investigation of us. Make it rough, rough on attackers all the way.” 
Eye for an eye: “People attack Scientology, I never forget it, always even the score. People attack auditors, or staff, or organisations, or me. I never forget until the slate is clear.” 
Legal harassment: “The purpose of the suit is to harass and discourage rather than to win. The law can be used very easily to harass, and enough harassment on somebody who is simply on the thin edge anyway, well knowing that he is not authorized, will generally be sufficient to cause his professional decease. If possible, of course, ruin him utterly.” 
on the importance of scientology and its world domination
(Fair Use image: "International
Scientology News" #27, 2004, p.20)
Playing for blood: “We're playing for blood, the stake is EARTH.” 
Scientology is the new law: “Somebody some day will say, ‘this is illegal.’ By then be sure the orgs [Scientology organizations] say what is legal or not.” 
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "Releases and Clears." Saint Hill Special Briefing Course, Tape #75. Lecture. 8 Aug. 1966.
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "Eyesight and Glasses." Professional Auditor’s Bulletin #111, 1 May 1957. Print. http://www.tep-online.info/laku/usa/reli/scien/SECRETDOX/1957_59.PDF#page77
 Hubbard, L. Ron. Clear Body, Clear Mind: The Effective Purification Program. Los Angeles, CA: Bridge Publications, 1990. Page 47. Print.
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "TECHNICALLY SPEAKING" HCO Bulletin 18 July 1959. Print. http://www.tep-online.info/laku/usa/reli/scien/SECRETDOX/1957_59.PDF#page536
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "The Control of Hysteria." Lecture. 15 Apr. 1957.
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "Methods of Research: The Thetan as an Energy Unit." Lecture. Secrets of the MEST Universe. 6 Nov. 1952. Ronny the Racist. YouTube. Web. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFbkzqfIflQ
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "Auditing Comm Cycles." The Saint Hill Special Briefing Course, 6 Aug. 1963. Lecture.
 Eshbach, Lloyd Arthur. Budrys, Algis. Over My Shoulder: Reflections of a Science Fiction Era. Grant, Donald M., 1982. Print.
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "Finance Series 11 - Income Flows and Pools - Principles of Money Management" HCO Policy Letter, MS OEC 384, 9 Mar. 1972. Print. http://www.tep-online.info/laku/usa/reli/scien/SECRETDOX/MGMT_SERIES_1970-74.pdf#page455
 Atack, Jon. A Piece of Blue Sky: Scientology, Dianetics, and L. Ron Hubbard Exposed. New York, NY: Carol Pub. Group, 1990. Page iii. Print.
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "THE HANDLING OF ARTHRITIS" Journal of Scientology 1-G, 1952. Print. http://www.tep-online.info/laku/usa/reli/scien/SECRETDOX/1950_53.PDF#page298
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "The Old Man’s Case-Book" Journal of Scientology 15-G (1953). Print. http://www.tep-online.info/laku/usa/reli/scien/SECRETDOX/1950_53.PDF#page363
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "ATTACKS ON SCIENTOLOGY" HCO Policy Letter 25 Feb. 1966. Print. http://www.naderlibrary.com/cia.testimonyrondewolfclearwater.exhibit.htm
 Hubbard, L. Ron. Manual of Justice. 1959. Print. http://wikileaks.org/wiki/Scientology_cult_justice_manual_1959
 Hubbard, L. Ron. A Manual on the Dissemination of Material. 1955. Print. http://www.tep-online.info/laku/usa/reli/scien/SECRETDOX/1954_56.PDF#page183
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "RJ 67." Ron’s Journal, 1967. Lecture. 1967.
 Hubbard, L. Ron. HCO Policy Letter 7 Nov. 1962. Print.
 Hubbard, L. Ron. "LRH Relationship to Orgs." HCO Policy Letter 4 Jan. 1966. Print. http://www.tep-online.info/laku/usa/reli/scien/SECRETDOX/OEC3_txt.pdf#oage132